So long no blog... lost at wat to say though alot to say...
Been real happy,
Been real busy,
Been real heartbroken,
Been real angry,
Been real moody,
Been real pissed,
Been real tired,
Been real enegetic,
Been real depressed,
Been real upset...
Alot... X_X;;;
Heart been broke and patch on and off over the same issue, and I actually said out the worse scenario of a r/s...
I felt tired... yet I love her...so complicated...
I just so wana throw everything related to HER away from her... but I know, I will never be able to throw HER away from her mind... she simply hides her deeply in her heart...rooted...
She always say dont care about HER...but when she called during lunch time when we cooked our maggie and ready to eat... she flew outta pantry to check for her the way...
Hello? She only got you as fren ah...? and u need to be so efficient anot...dont see u so efficient at other things... and best part is I was being told that it was her sis... though I suspected, but I choose to believe...until I found out from HER blog sayin thanking her for helping HER to find her way as she helped HER to lead her via fone and flipping office's street directory.
I dont like.
Infact, I hate it.
Thanks hor, your bf not around jiu find my gf to help u... so fuck lor. I am so pissed off.
I so hate everything... but I choose to stay by her side... coz I loved her so much....so kns...
I felt so cheap... somehow...clinging on someone who cant totally give her heart to me... I cant even stand a speck of dust... let alone sand..... or worse... a rock now...
I am really gona surrender if this r/s fails... not gona need anyone by my side anymore... shall just work hard and earn money and do watever I like... buy watever I like for myself....etc....be a selfish gal! XD
I know these will break your heart... but ya...this is how i feel... and ya, I gona do compare, which I know one should never compare their current to their ex...
My ex changed hp no. to cut all ties to her ex when she knew I really dont like her ex sms and called...though she says she dont even bother her ex which is true bah.... can u?
I duno how much you can sacrifice your past memories in exchange for my trust and security... but I know, you will nv bear to lose contact with her...
This r/s will simply depend on how much I can tolerate and forgive I guess...
Trust is hard to retrive as it was killed many many and extinct....
Anyway, counting down to last month of my job with Pem... I love there, I love the people, I love how we could see eachother in office...
I will be all insecure and lonely, moody, moodswing, depress when I end my job there as you will still be busy OTing and with family... while I will be grounded and unable to meet you much and so on...
I could already predict a tough time ahead....for me... hah!
Well, I know... as usual..this is my life...
