I think alot people dont understand why I am having such
big drama over my life these 2 days.
I dont really understand either...
All the while, I know I am lonely...
My laptop/desktop = my wife/someone who is there for me when I am sad.
When they died = your gf/bf died.
Same feelings...
I duno... maybe I shld have go out more.. but, where to go when I dont even have frens whom I can hang out with...
Many times when I wana ask a fren out.. and all CMI... yes.. ALL.
That time I wana avoid a relative outing oso liddat.
I had enough.
Recently I keep thinking that 99% of the friendships I am having are cheap. Yes, dirt cheap.
Who else would really care and help you when you really in help. no. (though I know there are a few old frens who wiil)
I lend ppl my lappy to do proj and leaving myself such short time to touch up my projects, I got no grumble. I lend them when they are desperately in need to render things out when I still havent done with my stuffs. I bring laptop to school to do things and stuffs, let them transfer things and stuffs.
But, when my laptop dies, who is the one really go look for a cure for me? None rite?
Even I am tired or busy I will still help others... but, nobody ever do that way back to me.
I had enough of such thing.
I had enough of trying to share my thoughts to someone else whom I thought could understand me but yet trying to entertain me with other issues. Or worse, tell me you are busy with your work/life...
I hate the fact that I cant totally convey my message to you and you could only tell me about academic stuffs and shits. I hate that you wont spend abit more time to understand me or ask me about my feelings. I told you I cried and you gimme this kinda "cry for fark" attitude.
I am obviously very disappointed in you.
It's been so long I tried to tell people my problems... and this time I tried to tell... and I get such responds from everyone.
Thanks.
I shall never share with anyone anymore in the future. I rather keep everything to myself and get depressed and die.
Please grant me an uncurable illness so I can end everything.
I got nothing to look forward anymore... I dont wana celebrate anything anymore.. but again, I didnt wana make them felt that I made them go round and round to prepare for me, or even buy dress for this special day.
I duno... I am very tired.
I wana disappear for some time again after this sat...
