Haiz... things are making me so messed up nowdays...
I really cant tahan and nobody to talks to... haiz... that's why I am back to blogging... but anyway when school starts, I will back to blogging...
I tried to ask someone who was once close to me to online to chat with me on my problems but she say next time bah... =/ well... I am nothing to her.. her fren/gf are more impt...
but anyway, above is not impt.
1. One of my best pals is giving up our frenship. I was so shocked when I heard this. I was not at home and was outside after some tiring thingy.. but seriously, although I didnt want it to end up like this but I duno what else I could say to him. I am totally loss at words... I know I sucks... I am not a good fren or wat...I took frens forgranted... I only think about myself...
But, think again, what could a fren really do when u are in trouble... all we can is try to accompany u.. talk with u... and hope that u could get out of that situation asap... I think I have tried. At least I think I have try my best to accompany all my frens who needs me urgently and so...
(but who are the ones accompany me when I need them badly?)But, whatever it is, I hope he reads this message of mine.
Dear Friend,
I understand that we might not be by eachother's side all the time and share all the little things with eachother. But, I am very sure that we are on each other's mind all the time. We are not used to say "I love you" to eachother but hey, we all know we love eachother very much in our heart (as friend).
Perhaps, this is a point where God is trying to test our friendship. I don't know if we could survive through this, but I know I will do my best.
I am sure you would not want to let this 7 years of friendship die so easily with such small matters. We are not quarreling over things like backstabbing, cheat your money, harm you are whatsoever... We quarrelled over lack of communications.
Sad to say this, but, it feels like my previous relationship with u-know-who. We also lack of communications due to we are busily commiting ourselves in our current roles. We are so tied up by our roles and the stress. We couldnt spare extra time to share things with eachother which is very sad.
But, tell me, who could handle such situation well? The world is moving so fast and friends around you are moving as fast that you are so hard to catch up with them. Sometimes, you should stop and look behind for you friend to see if they are catching up. If they don't, stop and update yourself with them! Not they don't wana care about you, is they no longer know how to ask "how are you?" anymore as we get to know eachother longer.
If now we are people who are rich and dont even need to bother anything, I bet we will be so happy socializing with all our friends. People like us are having difficulties to balance things in their life.
Whatever it is, just put it behind us. I will still be here for you whenever you have sort things out and decide to come back to us again.Your old pal,
Gwen
2. AIYO!!! My bird-day coming!! XDD~~ >////<
I wana date him out. =/
We planned to go out for dinner... but now the responsible lies on me.
I have to ask him out.
Like.... wtf....knn......ccb................nb.......
I cant bring myself to ask him that!! I am so shy!! I wanted him so much that I duno how to open my mouth! I melts upon seeing him. My legs go jelly when I see him. Like.. OMIGOSH HELP ME.
But, after so much complains, I still have to do it.
a. Should I say is my birthday if he ask dinner for what?
b. What if he rejects me?
c. Will he know I am that secret admirer?
d. I think I will go into deep depression if I get rejected.
But.. whatever it is.... I HAVENT ASK YET! AND I AM FREAKING SCARE TO ASK.
Omg... just let me die already. I had enough of such torture. I am afraid of losing anyone impt to me. I dont wana spoil this bond like how I spoil bonds last time.
3. Another close fren of mine is having some health problem... I am extremely worried too. Please go have a full body checkup. PLEASE GO. Dont give up on your life so easily over such thing. If you wana die one day, die with some other proud reasons. For now, try to keep your health in the best state and enjoy your life. It just started.
Even if that happens, it doesnt mean you will d*e so easily. You still have chance to recover. I am willing to donate any part of mine to you if that day comes. =)
Gosh. the 3 things above made me cried despite I am trying so hard to hide my worries. Please... help these poor souls...
